The short answer? It’s what you make it.  

My thoughts on service quickly crystalized this last September when I was asked in the 11th hour to “share some remarks” at the 20th Anniversary SEGS4VETS gala and fundraiser in St Louis MO. SEGS4VETS’ objective is to “rebuild a foundation of independence, community, and family for veterans and active duty members of the United States military who sustained severe injuries or illnesses that resulted in permanent disability while serving our country.” For more, visit: segs4vets.ngo

My husband is a recipient of the Ally Chair from S4V, a seated self balancing mobility device. It is literally a life changing machine in that in multiple ways my husband moves with more grace and ease post leg amputation than when he walked on two legs. The gala was my first introduction to the S4V community and I was honored, if not a bit surprised, they would trust not only a newcomer, but a spouse, to reflect on how the Ally Chair affects one’s life.

The gala was my first introduction to the S4V community and I was honored, if not a bit surprised, they would trust not only a newcomer, but a spouse, to reflect on how the Ally Chair affects one’s life.

My first thought was to expound upon how much fun it is to rip at 13.1 miles per hour with my husband on our respective sets of wheels, me on a bike, he on an Ally Chair. “Ripping”, on wheels through busy city streets, dirt roads and bike trails, (and schussing on skis down snow covered mountains during the winter months) is fundamental to connecting within our adventurous marriage.

Upon further reflection, I wanted my “remarks” to resonate with the greater audience—stand up, seated, partially to fully limbed—many of whom directly access their respective environments thanks to the Ally Chair and mobility devices, and those who partner with them. While it is of interest to know the stories of how Segs4Vets’

impacts individual lives, it is perhaps more insightful that S4V caters to each person where they specifically need to be met. Beginning with veterans with permanent disabilities and extending to their families, friends, work and community, segs4vets is a both a social network and supportive web assisting people to navigate intellectual, emotional and physical terrain.

Veterans keep it real. There is little pretense involved in a vocation compelled by service, especially if it’s resulted in life long injury. In these situations, paying the price of service lasts forever. Approaching the “realness” can feel both liberating, and daunting, because Veteran’s don’t miss a beat. There’s no use hiding. They have the keenest observation senses of any group I know, and can suss up a person up a mile away in an instant. Engaging a vet is an opportunity to calibrate one’s own energy to meet someone where they want to be met. It means being vulnerable, not having all of the answers, being open to learning, and definitely not asking a veteran if she or he needs help.

In these situations, paying the price of service lasts forever. Approaching the “realness” can feel both liberating, and daunting, because Veteran’s don’t miss a beat.

Why do I emphatically state here DO NOT ASK A VET IF THEY NEED HELP (unless it is an emergency)!? Because questioning anyone whether they “need help” can be interpreted as a power play where the helper assumes superior ability and know-how than the person perceived to need help. With the exception of an emergency, it’s not the approach to a trust building exchange, especially for people who pride themselves on their self-determination and getting ‘er done right.

It’s all about connection with another person, the fundamental energy which fuels our earthly souls so we can navigate the tedium and embrace joy of everyday life.

Instead, a more mindful approach might be asking “May I be of service?” because it opens up possibilities of collaboration, teamwork and trust between people with equal, if diverse, skill sets. It’s all about connection with another person, the fundamental energy which fuels our earthly souls so we can navigate the tedium and embrace joy of everyday life. It’s holding space for each other’s stories without judgement as to what we’ve experienced, not necessarily “good” and “bad”, rather what encounters and engagements have given meaning to our lives. This is what Segs4Vets offers in service, and I celebrate them for it.

Veteran’s Day offers time to reflect on the concept of service, including one’s own ability to be of service and the service one has received from others, especially from our veterans. It’s a chance to consider how to calibrate one’s own energy to meet someone else where they want to be met, and practice gratitude for those who have been of service to us. It is within this space that a “thank you” evolves from a cavalier cliché to a remarkable recognition.

Thank you Veterans, for your service.